Just last week Erica declared something that was NOT very Erica to me. That with so much on her plate, she wasn’t striving for an A in her assignment, she was going for a pass. WHAAAT? And then there was Jennifer at
- ‘Being Mediocre’, post we both read (and loved). We felt the universe was sending a message and that we simply had to go there, on the podcast, this week.Perplexity.ai defines mediocrity as ‘a quality or state of being average, ordinary or not particularly good.’ It goes on to say that being mediocre literally means being in the middle, the average.
By its very definition, that’s where most of are - we are the average, in the middle. Mediocre.
So why does it feel so horrible to be called that? To feel like a failure if you’re ‘average’?
And where does that even come from? Who says? By what measures? Whose standards?
As women we often live much of our lives, the various roles we play, hustling, striving to be…perfect. It’s exhausting. And yet, we keep on going back for more. Why is that?
In this chat we dive in, stripping back the layers, talking about:
The Push:Pull of Mediocrity. The striving for not being labeled, thought of as mediocre. And yet, the need, the permission, the want to ease off and be, average at times.
The Quest To Be & Feel Enough. Can I be enough, even when I’m average and still feel like I belong, loved…needed? How the expectations of our culture, our family from an early age, design the perceptions we create, the stories we tell ourselves. You come home with a C. Why not an A? (message received…that’s not good enough). You’re an A student, what’s going on with this C? (message received…that’s not like you, are you okay? You’re slipping…careful. I better put more effort in next time).
What Are We Trying To Prove? Why? The comparison trap. Comparison to the outliers, the extremes. Those who have reached the summit of success.
Choosing Mediocrity: what would happen if we deliberately chose to be mediocre from time to time? Permission to cruise for a C (as Erica encourages her clients to do this). What would that look like? How would that be perceived? Does that even matter? Matter to me?
The Tension of Misalignment With Our Values: Not living our values comes into play, again. The beliefs that drive us. The power of Cruising for a C some times and how that creates a profound pause, to step outside and get a fresh perspective. To re-align with our values once more.
Our Identity and (Accepting) Mediocrity: So much of what we do and how well we do it, defines us. How we see ourselves. As we live out the different seasons of our life, that identity shifts. So too might the acceptance of mediocrity in our lives. The blessing post-menopause gifts us - a time to re-frame. Letting go. Snubbing previous perceptions and re-writing the stories we tell ourselves. No more hustling!
What do the Ancients Say? Is the ‘eastern way’ different to our ‘modern, western view’ of mediocrity? Does mediocrity even exist as a concept ‘‘over there’?
Mediocrity Vs Contentment: - Go hard or go home Vs when enough is plenty. The 2 ‘ends’ of the spectrum? Where do you sit on that spectrum? Does mediocrity have a place in contentment? Maybe it’s holding both at the same time and being okay with that.
Grief: In the recognition that we will never be enough. Does that keep us hustling?
Is hustling, striving, a remarkable avoidance strategy? Oh yes! THAT is a juicy question.
Self-compassion, Care & Kindness: letting them in.
It was quite the chat. We felt it could have gone on and on. Time for you to chime in.
Questions For You? What does mediocrity mean to you? Do you choose it from time to time or do you fear it?
Thank you for reading, for listening. Join us for our next live video in the app next week when we speak to Tracey Bode about her recent transition from business owner to letting it go, diving into the next phase of her life and the new found freedom it’s bringing.
